11.17.2012

What color is your soul?

Grey, I thought, most unromantically this morning, my soul is a dove grey color today. Guys, I've been feeling not like myself of late - I have no intense cravings to buy something from cdjapan, my music doesn't consume me like it normally does, I'm not looking up plane tickets and making lists of places I want to see in Japan, I feel fine just dressing normal and I'm not itching to try different gothic or visual kei makeup styles - leading me to ask myself, who am I even, today?
Dove grey. Don't get me wrong, this isn't like, a symbol of gloom and depression, I love doves. The coo of a mourning dove still recalls to my mind my childhood in Redwood Shores, waking up to lazy sunlit weekends and doves outside my window. Grey is just, grey. The comfort of a cashmere sweater. Soft down. Nothing flashy, nothing shiny, just, grey.
Who am I and what are my aspirations? Still a question that keeps haunting me when my time stands still outside the bounds of my obligations.
I went to the city a few days ago for the Epica concert, met up with some friends for dinner in a more touristy part of town that I normally don't stray into. I watched as stylishly dressed young girls my age walked into the street in their heels to wave down a taxi. 8 o'clock at night, and hordes of people still roamed the streets, whether they be on their way home from work or on their way out with their friends, I knew not. What are you doing here and what kind of jobs do you have, I mused. What kind of strange lifestyle is this, and would I enjoy it, I wondered.
The world is still at my fingertips, and there are many decisions to be made. Meanwhile, my dove grey soul is ready for some hot chocolate.

No comments:

Post a Comment