Post-graduate Predicament

I spent a lot of the day staring blankly at the bookcase while prodding my mouth with the cap of my pen. They made us take these career assessment tests in high school and in college but to this day, I honestly have no idea what I want to do with my life. I do think it would be sweet to work part-time as a bank teller or give casual violin lessons to friends of friends, and I even considered the idea of being a street performer and playing Celtic fiddle tunes on the piers of San Francisco, but then I decided that I'm not good enough to be a street performer, you have to be good to be a street performer! (except that one time I did see a mom and her two kids playing cello by Union Square, I'm not sure if they were doing it for the money though or just cause it was Christmas)

So what has this degree gotten me? Life fulfillment, a better understanding of human nature, of faith, logic, the ability to "get" Lewis Carroll's humor, and to know that I am ignorant (not a good thing to put on your resume, btw). I've learned useful skills but other than that, I'm a tabula rasa, a blank slate when it comes to the real world.

And it takes a certain kind of person to want a blank slate, like the kind of people who buy blank inside greeting cards (like my mom and me, I guess).

So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm a tween! kind of, but on the other end of being a teenager. I can now look at high schoolers and think they look young, but when I face the tall imposing edifices of the real world, I'm still itty-bitty. And we all face this once we graduate from college, a kind of stupor. I'm seeing some friends really hit it good and land jobs immediately with recording studios or nursing homes or Microsoft, but some are contemplating study abroads or graduate school just to get away from the real world for a few more years, and some are like me, stuck in thought and writing blog posts about this - this, the post graduate predicament.

Do I regret getting my degree? No. But do I feel like I'm crazy sometimes, for "following my heart," so to speak? Yes. But good things come from doing crazy things, at least I've found this to be true. (Getting married at 19? Best decision of my life) Here's hoping I never lose my craziness.