Wild Thing

Today I walked to the docks at the yacht club and watched an egret eating breakfast along the shore for half an hour while listening to Bjork's "Medulla". Listening to Bjork while taking a walk is really interesting, because it's not like the upbeat get you pumped up kind of music but more the quiet observant creeping peeling back the skin of the world and wondering about its contents kind of music. I watched the egret walk through the water, climb on the jagged slippery rocks and watched it's long yellow toes balance and carefully tread through the shore. It never once looked at me in alarm, always concentrating unwavering on the task at hand, peering carefully, every once and a while grabbing a small wriggling fish, it's fins translucent in the morning sun, some brownish grey, others a pale orange, clamping down on it once and swallowing it down its long neck. I watched it, this "wild" animal, no care in the world but to feed and survive. Is that what it means to be wild? To only have survival on your mind?
On the way home I heard a crack like a rock had been thrown at me, only to find it was a raven that had dropped half of it's seed or nut shell in the road. Another time I noticed small paw prints in the sidewalk, made from a wandering cat from when the cement was still wet.
We humans have created such a comprehensive and well-functioning society, able to take care of all our physical needs, so that sometimes we forget about nature and God and the dependence and vulnerability we once had in relation to the elements. But somehow the wild still creeps into our societies, reminding us that there are still some things we cannot control.

Why I Shouldn't Be A Blogger

You see this, now this is why I should not ever try and be a serious blogger! Leaving off a week into a 30  day challenge and then not posting for 4 months, haha...

A lot has happened during that time involving my struggles with depression and finding my path in life. I've made some big decisions and I'm really excited to be making my life into the vision I want it to be. It's fulfilling, but a lot of work and learning!

Anyways, the reason I'm back is, well, first of all, I've decided to be a web designer. I'm still going to school and learning the very very basics right now but to get some experience under my belt I decided I'd give my blogs a facelift and use them as practice pieces for design. But how embarrassing would that be to potentially put on my portfolio if the posts were like a year old and I had left off in the middle of a 30 day challenge? Sad!

So I'm really not a great blogger, but I do have some things worth sharing from time to time that I want a place to put so I guess this could be it? And I guess my old posts aren't bad, I guess.

Anyways. Not sure if anyone still reads this, but just an update. :)

7. A song to drive to

"Mind Storm" by Joe Satriani. Perfect for cruising.

6. A song that makes you want to dance

"Ophelia" by Kaya. I went through a phase when I was absolutely entranced by industrial dance, and even practiced in front of the mirror by myself. \(//∇//)\ This song has just the right beats to make me wanna dance and pull out some of my industrial moves again.

5. A song that needs to be played LOUD

"Falling Sparrow" by Masterplan. It just does.

4. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

"Frozen" by Within Temptation. I wouldn't say there's anyone that I want to forget, since I think all experiences have been key in making me who I am, but this is probably the closest. This was my dealing-with-a-break-up song after I ended a poisonous relationship in high school. This feeling of "You tell me I'm frozen, but what could I do?" that I felt bad cutting off all ties with him but had to end it for my own sanity and well-being. At this point I wouldn't care if I saw him again, but I'm not about to seek him out either, we'll just see if we ever cross paths again.
There are a lot of Within Temptation songs that have special meanings in my life. They used to be my favorite band but sadly I haven't been too happy with their direction lately.

 

3. A song that reminds you of summertime

"Summer Breeze" by Seals and Croft. The ultimate feel-good song. It reminds me of summer vacations walking around in Belmont and smelling the honeysuckle and jasmine growing off the fences in the bright sunlight. If there's two scents I love more than anything in the world, they are vanilla and jasmine. Whenever I see a jasmine flower I think of this song and start believing that summer is near.